I cheat on tests. Or at least I did this week. Makes for a great
blog-post, huh? Bet you're thinking there's a catch, but
I'm just that bad folks...bad to the hueso.
The best way to
cheat on a test is to try and be so obvious about cheating that no one
would ever guess you're cheating. I've got it down to an art. I refer to
the calculator. Good ol' TI-83 Plus. You know him, I know him. Just luh
dat guy. Got to a really hard math problem on my nutrition test...ya
know, something like 7 times 75 and you bet I pulled out a calculator! I
ain't doin' no LONGHAND. And what's shorter than longhand, ya'lll?
Cheating, ya'll.
So anyway, I pulled out Texy (that's TI-83 Plus' real name) and he helped me out like he do and I was on my way like I is. I finished the test, completely dissatisfied with the lack of confidence I felt with regards to my score, and to make matters worse....as I handed over the bubble sheet I read these two words up in the right-hand corner:
NO CALCULATORS.
Oops.
Okay, well that oops gives away my "intentional" cheating.
So it was unintentional after all, but I decided it would be best just to try and get away with using a calculator on a test I wasn't supposed to use a calculator on since my score was going to be low enough anyway.
And now you know how bad I am.
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Actually, truth be told I was just horribly embarrassed. Really, Aleisha? You used a calculator to solve problems like "7 times 75"? Did first grade do NOTHING for you?
I came home and wrote a huge email about my huge saga to my professor, asking for partial credit because I at least knew how to solve the problems even if I didn't solve them LONGHAND. I worded everything perfectly and re-read the email a dozen times, making sure to leave nothing out.
3 minutes later my professor responded saying he didn't care one bit that I'd used a calculator; he'd never intended for it to be a "no calculator" test. Okay, now I'm embarrassed about writing that mammoth email apologizing and begging for partial points. And then, to add to my embarrassment, the professor mentions that he didn't think there were any problems hard enough to even need a calculator. So essentially, I'm dumb.
Embarrassed times three, dumb, and not really hard core bad girl after all. What a disappointing Monday.
Morals of this story: learn LONGHAND in case you ever take a NO CALCULATOR test. Always check the top right-hand corner of your bubble sheet just in case. If you have no morals and want to cheat, you can probably get away with it in the testing center because I just pulled that calculator out STRAIGHT UP in the FRONT desk right in front of one of them wandering "cheat-catchers," and they did not catch my unintentional cheating.
And I didn't do so bad on the test after all.
