Bringing home our G.E.M.

The beautiful Grace Elizabeth McKean graced (see how I did that?) us with her presence two weeks ago and our lives were instantly and forever changed. It has been a whirlwind of a fortnight and I still cannot believe that I. BIRTHED. A. HUMAN. That was so crazy. Here are a few details of the miraculous event:

Grace was due March 15, but because my blood pressure had been slightly elevated the last little while my doctor wanted to induce me a week early just to be on the safe side.  There was something comforting about knowing exactly when we'd go in to have a baby. I also figured that if Grace came early she might not be a huge baby, and I was right. She came out at a perfectly even 7lbs, 0oz.

I was induced Monday night, March 9. My mom was in town and even though my doctor told me maybe just to rest during the day (because I most certainly wouldn't have a restful night coming up) we spent the day running errands all over the place and then when James got home from work we went on a 3-mile walk. So yeah, totally restful.

James and I got to the hospital at 9 pm and they started me on Cytotec to ripen my cervix. I was only dilated to a 1+ at that point. A few hours later I was dilated to a 2.5. I felt great other than some wicked bad heartburn. I know, I'm such a wimp. We watched The Secret Life of Walter Mitty and James drifted in and out of sleep while I tried to get comfortable with a blood pressure cuff going off every few minutes, two belts strapped to my stomach monitoring baby's heartbeat/movement and my contractions, nurses coming in to check on things every 5 min, and the thought that soon I would birth our first child. This equals not much sleeping.

I was freshly showered, full of of pb&j, and feeling good at this point.

At 4 am just as I was was finally dozing off to sleep my water broke. And then the contractions came on. I endured them for about two and a half hours before the blessed anesthesiologist came in to paralyze my pain..and my legs. James and I laughed at how the anesthesiologist happily wheeled in his cart of magical needles like he was the "candy man" bringing sugar and cheer. And that's basically...exactly what he did. Yay epidural! The epidural immediately made my legs feel warm and tingly like it was supposed to, but it didn't ease or numb my contractions. So I endured a little longer until he returned to give me a stronger dose. I was dilated to a 3.5 at this point and soon after this I FINALLY fell asleep.

An hour later we were awakened by my OB cheerily greeting us saying she was going to check to see how far I was dilated. ALL THE WAY.  I went from a 3.5 to a 10 in less than two hours! I had only been on Pitocin for 35 min. I hadn't even switched sides with the epidural. The nurses hadn't even put a catheter in. I hadn't even met my delivery nurse yet. And my OB said I'd probably have the baby out in 5 pushes! James and I were a little groggy, but being told you're going to have a baby RIGHT NOW kind of wakes you up rul fast.

Well Grace didn't come in 5 pushes, but she came after only 25 min of pushing which wasn't bad. It was 8:50 am on March 10. I got to watch it all in the mirror and it was the most amazing thing I've ever seen and fortunately the most amazing thing I've never felt. James cut the cord and soon after a purple, screaming, adorable baby girl was on my chest and I thought she looked exactly like a Grace. And Grace she is. Her middle name Elizabeth is in honor of her aunt Elizabeth, my mother and father-in-laws' firstborn who only lived a few months. She is every bit as beautiful as her name.

Grace aspirated a lot of fluid during delivery and so the respiratory team took her away and she had an oxygen monitor attached to her for the first day. Other than that I have to admit that the rest of the day was actually pretty great. Seeing as I had Grace an hour after my epidural kicked in, I didn't feel anything the rest of the day. No stitches, no post partum contractions or cramping, no pain. Just laid in bed with dead legs and ate Banberry Cross doughnuts and had family come visit and marveled that James and I have a daughter and obsessed over her cuteness.

When we left the hospital Grace was jaundice and her bilirubin levels were high enough that she had her heels pricked several times over the first few days of life and she spent a night on the Bilibed. The phototherapy worked wonders on her bilirubin levels and thankfully she was off the bed the next day. No more jaundice baby. :)

Parenthood thus far has been exhausting and wonderful and James and I are so grateful to be mommy and daddy to baby Grace. Recovery has been the pits but I am feeling much better and was so happy to finally paint my toenails and eat sushi! And my mom, James and friends have been so incredibly helpful with everything. And Grace gets more adorable every day.  See for yourself.

She does NOT like us to swaddle her arms. She likes to wave 'em in the air like she just don't care.

Totally posing

We love when she slips into her milk comas

Sometimes when she cries I just have to stare at her adorable sad/angry face and snap pictures

Tiny baby head

Just a photo shoot with my baby doll

This is her "sup dawg" pose

This is my favorite picture ever. She is very smiley as she's coming out of a deep sleep.

Leggo my Preggo

Today I am officially 27 weeks pregnant and I have yet to blog one word about this, my first pregnancy. It's mostly all I think and talk about these days, but they have been busy days so that's my excuse.

I'm a pretty big wimp when it comes to being sick because I'm hardly ever sick, so the idea of a first  trimester of nausea totally horrified me. Luckily, God also knows I'm a wimp and he blessed me with a wonderful first trimester. I hiked Mt. Timp and Angel's Landing around weeks 5-7. I had a little bit of nausea now and then (mostly just when I was hungry, which was an easy fix) and missed no work or class. With 40-hr work weeks, 5 classes, and 2 callings I was very very thankful for that. My cravings mainly consisted of apples, tomatoes (my father-in-law's garden tomatoes to be more specific), chewy sour candy, and the hot hot sauce from Chipotle. I wasn't demanding cheeseburgers or cupcakes at absurd hours or all hours...which James says don't count as "cravings" anyway since junk like that always sounds good to everyone all the time-pregnant or not.

Second trimester-which is rapidly coming to a close-has introduced me to those attractive maternity pants and a bit of heartburn. The heartburn has not stopped me from eating the hot hot sauce from Chipotle, however. I just carry TUMS with me now. We had a brief scare after my 20-week scan that baby girl might have a clubbed left foot, but after a follow-up ultrasound it was determined that she doesn't after all. No cravings now, no nausea, less intense exercising, and more huffing and puffing when I bend over to put on socks and shoes. Sleeping on my side is not my favorite, but feeling her kick and having James feel her kick is.

An added bonus of this already great pregnancy has been free ultrasound screening in my ultrasound lab on Fridays. My classmates have loved scanning me and watching baby grow. My instructor was actually the one to confirm the gender, and was disappointed to find out she's not a boy, because he thought we should use the name "Diesel." No offense, but no. Ew. No.

I will be quitting my job at Primary Children's the first week of January and will only have one class next semester (and it happens to be Obstetrics haha...how coincidental) so you could say I'm taking it easier, but I'm not. I'll be doing around 40-hr clinical weeks scanning real patients and learning from real sonographers. I'll be on my feet nonstop and most assuredly very large and uncomfortable.

The great part about the long weeks ahead is that both the clinical supervisor and program director have allowed me to front load my clinical hours so when the baby comes I can take some time off. All my classmates will work 24-hr weeks but I'll do more so I really can take it easy-or easier-when baby McKean makes her debut. She's due March 15, FYI, which I think sounds like a perfect day to be born.

I apologize if any of you have wanted to see pictures. I love seeing pictures of everyone elses' pregnant bellies, but I'm not such a huge fan of taking selfies of my own, I did have James take a few though.

At 20 weeks when I felt like I kind of starting showing a little:

At 22 weeks when I wasn't showing much more but I bought this new shirt and wanted to take a picture in it:

At 27 weeks (today) when I'm finally starting to feel pregnant and people who haven't said anything up to this point are starting to ask WHEN THAT BABY'S DUE:

With recent death in my family I am daily grateful for this baby and the upcoming miracle of her birth. It has been a reason to rejoice and a wonderful pregnancy so far. James and I are so stoked to be exhausted, overwhelmed, and completely infatuated new parents in a few short months. Here's to the third and final trimester!!!

Absolute Truth

DID YOU MISS A MESSAGE INTENDED FOR YOU?

The messages shared during General Conference are for all of us, but oftentimes a particular talk or theme throughout several talks is perfect for an individual that may not be watching conference. That same individual also might not take the time to look up the talk afterwards.

As I listened to conference this last month SEVERAL people came to my mind as needing to hear a very obvious theme of conference, the theme of receiving and maintaining a personal testimony of the absolute truth. I don't know if the people I thought of were listening to conference, but I do know there's a chance they will read my blog and I hope it does something for them. I hope it encourages them to look up the talks I will reference. I hope it encourages them to reevaluate their testimonies. I hope it strengthens their faith in some way.

But as I said, the messages shared during conference are for all of us, so this post is also just for anyone who needs it.

THE TREND OF LEAVING THE TRUTH

I have noticed-particularly since arriving home from my mission a few years ago-the number of members falling away from the church because of unresolved doubts and questions, differing political opinions, offense, and the influence of other members who have previously fallen away. The only thing that can keep any of these people in the church is a personal testimony that they find themselves and hold onto by their own effort.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is led by leaders called of and inspired by God. They are aware that members are losing their faith and falling away and addressed it most emphatically in General Conference last month. Their addressing this topic means God is concerned for me and you and any of us who have lost or who are close to losing our testimonies.

Below I have touched on a few of the talks that stood out to me and the important truths and take-aways I have extracted from them. To comprehend the full context I encourage you to look up the talk on LDS.org.

ELDER CHRISTOFFERSON: FREE FOREVER, TO ACT FOR THEMSELVES

1. While God is loving and merciful, He is also demanding and just. If we think we can simply "do what we want" and He will excuse it, we do not understand His true character.

"A God who makes no demands is the functional equivalent of a God who does not exist.  A world without God, the living God who establishes moral laws to govern and perfect His children, is also a world without ultimate truth or justice.  It is a world where moral relativism reigns supreme."

2. God is not coercive and His church is not designed to feel that way. 

"God will not act to make us something we do not choose by our actions to become.  Truly He loves us, and because He loves us, He neither compels nor abandons us.  Rather He helps and guides us.  Indeed, the real manifestation of God's love is His commandments."

3. Many claim that truth is relative or individual. That is not reality.  Truth is absolute whether one chooses to believe it or not. 

"To those who believe anything or everything could be true, the declaration of objective, fixed, and universal truth feels like coercion...But that does not change reality.  Resenting the law of gravity won't keep a person from falling if he steps off a cliff.  The same is true for eternal law and justice.  Freedom comes not from resisting it but from applying it.  That is fundamental to God's own power.  If it were not for the reality of fixed and immutable truths, the gift of agency would be meaningless since we would never be able to foresee and intend the consequences of our actions."

ELDER BALLARD: STAY IN THE BOAT AND HOLD ON

1. Don't leave the church because of questions; stay in the church because of what you already know.

"As I have known people who have not stayed in the boat and have not held on with both hands during times of trials and troubles or who have not stayed in the boat during times of relative calm, I have observed that many of them have lost their focus on the central truths of the gospel-the reasons why they joined the Church in the first place; the reasons they remained fully committed and active in living gospel standards and blessing others through dedicated, consecrated service; and the ways in which the Church has been in their lives "a place of spiritual nourishment and growth."

"Sometimes faithful Latter-day Saints and sincere investigators begin to focus on the "appendages" instead of on the fundamental principles.  That is, Satan tempts us to become distracted from the simple and clear message of the restored gospel.  Those so distracted often give up partaking of the sacrament because they have become focused, even preoccupied, with less important practices or teachings."

PRESIDENT EYRING: CONTINUING REVELATION

1. There is no other way to discover and receive truth than from God, from personal revelation through the Spirit.

"We all know that human judgment and logical thinking will not be enough to get answers to the questions that matter most in life.  We need revelation from God.  And we will need not just one revelation in a time of stress, but we need a constantly renewed stream.  We need not just one flash of light and comfort, but we need the continuing blessing of communication with God."

ELDER CHRISTENSEN: I KNOW THESE THINGS OF MYSELF

1. There is no other way to discover and receive truth than from God, from personal revelation through the Spirit.

"Learning for ourselves that the restored gospel of Jesus Christ is true can be one of the greatest and most joyful experiences in life.  We may have to begin by relying on the testimonies of others.  This is a good place to start, but we must build from there.  To be strong in living the gospel, there is nothing more important than receiving and strengthening our own testimony.  We must be able to declare, as Alma did, "I know these things of myself."

PRESIDENT UCHTDORF: RECEIVING A TESTIMONY OF LIGHT AND TRUTH

1. Seek for truth in the RIGHT places in the RIGHT way. That is as follows:

"My dear friends, here is a fairly straightforward experiment, with a guarantee from God, found in a book of ancient scripture available to every man, woman, and child willing to put it to the test:

First, you must search the word of God.  That means reading the scriptures and studying the words of the ancient as well as modern prophets regarding the restored gospel of Jesus Christ-not with an intent to doubt or criticize but with a sincere desire to discover truth.  Ponder upon the things you will feel, and prepare your minds to receive the truth.  "Even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you...that ye can give place for [the word of God]."

Second, you must consider, ponder, fearlessly strive to believe, and be grateful for how merciful the Lord has been to His children from the time of Adam to our day by providing prophets, seers, and revelators to lead His Church and help us find the way back to Him.

Third, you must ask your Heavenly Father, in the name of His Son, Jesus Christ, to manifest the truth of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints unto you.  Ask with a sincere heart and with real intent, having faith in Christ.

There is a fourth step, given to us by the Savior: "If any man will do [God's] will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself."  In other words, when you are trying to verify the truth of gospel principles, you just first live them.  Put gospel doctrine and Church teachings to the test in your own life."

2. Once we make certain wrong decisions of course we look back on the Church thinking our belief was foolish or naive. This is not because hindsight is 20/20 but because we have lost the Spirit.

"If we remove ourselves from the light of the gospel, our own light begins to dim-not in a day or a week but gradually over time-until we look back and can't quite understand why we had ever believed the gospel was true.  Our previous knowledge might even seem foolish to us because what once was so clear has again become blurred, hazy, and distant."

MY TESTIMONY

It is my testimony that if you are currently doubting the truthfulness of the Church, it isn't because it isn't true or because it isn't true for you; it is because you have not put forth the necessary effort to receive and MAINTAIN that confirmation for yourself.  It is available to anyone who sincerely desires to know truth and is not forced on anyone. If you want to know if the Church is really true don't leave it to see if there's something better or if you're happier without it-first try LIVING the truth taught within the Church wholeheartedly and find out FOR YOURSELF the easier way.

While I am absolutely certain that asking questions is good and desired by God, I believe that leaving the church because of questions is cowardly while staying in the church because of truths we understand is admirable.  I cannot perfectly explain why women cannot hold the priesthood or why wonderful people who are gay or lesbian and want to live that lifestyle cannot simultaneously keep the commandments, but I will never leave the church over it. Because I DO KNOW that God is perfect, I know that He loves women as much as men and He loves those who are gay or lesbian as much as any heterosexual. I know that His plan is perfect and designed for ALL his children. I cannot give up the truth I do know for the questions that are waiting to be answered in the hereafter.

I believe that it is not worth losing the blessings of the gospel because someone offended us or because someone we loved who once believed now no longer does. We cannot be flimsy or flighty in our faith because of how others have unwisely used their agency.  If you were born into the Church or found the Church later in life you are among the privileged few in the world to possess absolute truth, so don't let it go in exchange for a lesser life of relative truth and confusion. 

The leaders and members of the Church are not perfect and never will be in this life. Political and moral issues will get progressively more complex and controversial, people will undoubtedly offend and disappoint us, we will feel disillusioned when those we once looked to as stalwart examples leave the church, but we don't have to follow suit. 

This is the great test of LIFE: can we recognize the truth for what it is and abide by it until we do have all the answers? We walk by faith, and I have faith that God knows what He is doing in His true church-the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Thank God for General Conference.

A tribute to the goodness of God and the awesomeness of my brother

It has been some time since I blogged and so much has happened. What an eventful summer! Unfortunately, one of this summer's events was my 19-year-old brother's funeral. I have deliberated much over what to say in this post. I will keep it simple, sparing you many of my thoughts and feelings and instead sharing with you the wonderful person my brother was.

Below is the life sketch we wrote for Daniel. It is compiled of memories from my parents, my siblings, Daniel's friends, and me. It very accurately depicts his true and eternal character.

"Daniel was born on May 4, 1995 in Colorado Springs. He arrived late but on a memorable day, as it was also the day our Grandma was sent home from her outpatient cancer apartment because she was doing so well.

As a little boy Daniel LOVED dressing up as a cowboy and carried that love with him through his Toy Story years of loving Woody and throughout his whole life as he always enjoyed good old western movies.

He basically loved anything he considered “manly,” which included cowboys, pirates, brawling with Dad and Morgan, and smashing into the back fence with Morgan while pretending to rob homeruns. He also always enjoyed a good “man night,” which was never complete without sports and plenty of meat.

Along with his obsession with manly things, Daniel loved his full head of hair and admired facial hair his whole life. Daniel would do anything to improve his hair. In middle school, a friend told Daniel that if he put jalapeno juice on his face he’d grow facial hair. For a couple weeks Daniel rubbed jalapeno juice on his face every single night, to no avail.

Over the years, Daniel absolutely loved making movies with his friends. It seemed like he was always receiving some sort of video camera for his big birthday or Christmas gift, and most of his home videos would have fit right in at his man nights, full of action, gore, loud music, and other such manly things.

For the past few years he got really into skateboarding, and many of his videos started focusing on skateboarding tricks. He loved everything to do with skateboarding, and would spend hours watching and making skate videos, drawing logos, covering his walls in skateboarding pictures, and mastering his latest tricks in the garage or at the skate park.

Skateboarding was far from the only sport that Daniel played though, and he was a natural athlete. Just a few weeks ago, he tried his hand at golf for the first time with Morgan and Dad and was amazing for a beginner. But his main sports were basketball and baseball. He fondly remembered sinking the game-winning three-pointer in one of his city-league championship basketball games, but he especially enjoyed baseball. He was an exceptional pitcher, catcher, and shortstop, with a strong bat and good speed around the bases. In his final season he hit several homeruns, and although he didn’t play competitively beyond middle school, his love of baseball never fizzled. Just last week he watched the home-run derby and all-star game with Dad, texting Morgan with updates throughout the game. Baseball was something that always brought the boys in the family together.

And speaking of baseball, Daniel was a diehard Red Sox fan and loved to trash talk the Yankees to get Morgan riled up.  This past December, Daniel made a special request to give the last gift on Christmas morning, and wasn’t Morgan surprised when he unwrapped a brand new Red Sox receiving blanket for his new baby. We all had a good laugh, but then Daniel followed it up with a Yankees blanket as well.

Daniel really was the best gift giver. He paid close attention to what mattered to people, thought of and bought birthday and Christmas gifts before anyone else, and spared no expense.  He bought Shay some sparkly TOMS that she loves, a nice pair of VANS for me, a Rockies watch for Dad, a jewelry box for Mom, and just a few weeks ago he bought Mom a beautiful bracelet at Disneyland. He gave his friends generous gifts for holidays and for any other excuse he could find to give.

Daniel’s generosity went beyond gift-giving though; he also gave freely of himself and his time. Daniel always gave money to the poor and needy, and never went to a restaurant without tipping 100 percent or beyond. Aleisha remembers him treating her to ice cream on a few occasions when she was home visiting. He took Shay on a date to the movies, he and I spent hours talking and had movie nights together every week, and he always loved spending time, usually playing or watching sports, with his brother Morgan. His friends say he was always available to listen to them, talk with them, and make them laugh.

Along with giving great gifts, he also wrote the most hilarious cards. One of his Father’s Day cards to dad began: “Dear Mark, you’ve always been like a father to me,” and ended with “Go Red Sox. Fight Red Sox. Win.” He bought me a “Happy 40^th birthday” card when I turned 12, and most of his homemade cards were full of funny illustrations.

He cracked us up in a million different ways.  He was great with imitations and some of our favorites were his Mickey Mouse laugh and virtually every character from the Goofy Movie. There wasn’t ever a situation that Daniel couldn’t lighten with a funny impersonation or a movie quote. He also had certain phrases that he loved to throw around when he wanted to sound financially savvy or fluent in Spanish. He would talk about “going to the firm to liquidate some assets” or how something was “reglas son reglas” although we’re pretty sure he didn’t actually understand what either phrase meant.

Daniel also loved nicknames. He always called Shay “Bud,” Aleisha “Squeegy Buddy” and me “Seth” or “Stuff” or “Stuff America,” “Sethanie Bethanie Boo,” among others.

He also liked finding (or creating) random adjectives and then using them to describe EVERYTHING. Anyone who spent much time around Daniel probably heard him describe something as “fresh, wet, salty, nasty or ratchet,” including his senior shirt, which he printed the word “wet” on the back.

Daniel definitely inherited Mom’s love of games. He always dominated at Disney Trivia, Lord of the Rings Trivial Pursuit, and Risk. Before our Grandma passed away this past year she was staying at our house recovering from knee surgery and Daniel spent hours playing games with her, which she greatly appreciated.

He was intelligent, curious, and always looking for answers. He loved the Discovery Channel and the History Channel, and excelled in history all throughout school.

He had a gift for music, and at one point was able to play the piano, guitar, ukulele, harmonica and drums. One day he decided to just go out front on the lawn and play the guitar. He was joking about someone giving him money, and then two ladies in the ward drove by and gave him between $15-30.

In recent years, since he started working in the restaurant business, Daniel also developed a love for cooking, grilling and sautéing. He made most of our family Christmas Eve dinner this past year, did lots of cooking and grilling for special occasions at home, and just last week he made the absolute BEST steak burritos…for a man night with Dad.

At one point Daniel’s manager at Outback Steakhouse decided to start awarding an employee of the month, but after several months of awarding only Daniel his manager decided “we can’t do this anymore if we’re only going to give it to Danny every month.”

He was so deserving of the award because he was always early for work, he was the go-to guy for taking on extra shifts or working extra hours, he cracked everyone up and made friends with all his coworkers.

Daniel was talented at so many things, but was also kind and close to his family and friends.  On one of his spur-of-the-moment adventures, he moved to San Diego in search of palm trees and a job transfer. When things quickly fell through, he called his go-to boys, who hopped in a minivan and without hesitation drove out and rescued him. They were always there for each other. One of his friends recently remembered that Daniel was the first person he told when he’d decided to serve a mission, and he said, “Daniel was so excited for me.  He was proud of me.  He’s been supportive of that decision ever since.” And just last week Daniel took the time to talk with another friend who was struggling with some family challenges. He was always sensitive to others’ suffering and curious about their lives. He also loved babies-especially his new niece-and they loved him.

Our sister Shay, who is currently on her mission in Germany wrote down a few thoughts about Daniel that sum up the kind of person he was. She said “I think I could be the most unreserved with you than with anyone in the world.  I could be the goofiest, weirdest, silliest, most ridiculous with you and feel completely free just being me with you.  You have such a talent for that-loving people for who they are, not judging and just making people feel happy.”

Of course we are sad to say goodbye, but we are grateful for the happiness he brought into our lives, and we feel privileged to forever love and remember him as part of our family, our Daniel in the Lyons Den."

The weekend of Daniel's funeral was...hard and sad...for lack of more accurate words. But it was also an amazing weekend. I want to list a few of the unforgettable acts of kindness and love that were shown to my family in our time of loss:

• When my parents came home after hearing about Daniel, they walked into a home-our home-filled with selfless friends who had prepared food for them and were waiting there upholding their covenant to mourn with those that mourn.
• Nearly our whole extended family (on both my parents' sides) dropped everything and came immediately to Colorado. Many of my relatives I hadn't seen in YEARS.
• A bishop in Idaho we don't even know heard news of Daniel's death and used his private plane to fly cousins home who would not have been able to make it out otherwise
• Members in our ward paid for plane tickets home for other family members
• Our dearest family friends housed all our relatives
• Daniel's casket was anonymously paid for
• Daniel's friend bought him a brand new suit to dress him in and it fit him perfectly
• The ward not only donated all their food from an activity exclusively to our family but also brought over countless meals
• The turnout for the viewing, funeral, and at the graveside was so supportive. I especially appreciated three of my high school friends showing up to be there for me.

I know there are other things I missed. Thank you all again for all you did and all you continue you to do.

The morning of the July 22 I ran across this quote and it really struck me. Later that afternoon, I got news of Daniel's death and it struck me even harder.

“No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God … and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire and which will make us more like our Father and Mother in heaven” -Spencer W. Kimball

I know that it is in trial and suffering that we are most tested, because it gives us the difficult choice of how to respond. I instinctively felt that the only place to turn was to my Savior for understanding and comfort. I explored the scriptures with a new hunger and spent time pondering and praying about truth and for peace. 

And although the healing continues and will for the rest of this life, there were so many beautiful and sacred details of this experience that testified to me that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ know Daniel, know my parents, my siblings, know me. Their eternal plan of happiness is real. That's what this life is all about-remembering that and keeping it in perspective during times like these. I don't know what I would do without this knowledge. Repentance, forgiveness, and the Atonement are REAL. There is hope. There's always hope because of the Hope of Israel, Jesus Christ.

I'm grateful to have known Daniel in this life, I look forward to knowing him in the next, and I feel so blessed to forever be sister to such a remarkable son of a loving God.

Easy Transition

My mother-in-law asked me the other week what I miss about Texas. If you read my last blog you know I answered "my kitchen," but other than that and some great people in our ward......I just don't miss our life in Houston.

In fact, since we moved to Utah mid-May I've hardly looked back. We are SO content in Draper, and here's why:

JAMES ISN'T TRAVELING. Well, ironically enough he traveled back to Texas for a day his first full week of work, but his traveling will be infrequent, especially compared to....every week. It's wonderful to be a "normal" married couple going into our second year of marriage. I get to cook meals for him during the week, we get to work out together and now when I engage in pillow talk I'm not talking to myself.

FAMILY. We are loving being so close to James' family. They are about 20ish minutes north of us and we enjoyed Memorial Day and Sunday dinners, games, and home videos with them each week. They were so kind to help us in the moving in/unpacking process and in lending us some furniture and dishes while we waited for our moving truck to arrive. And this week we get to go to Bear Lake with them, so we definitely like that.
       
Morgan, Eliza, and Eva are also close by, about 25ish minutes south of us, and because they're moving to Virginia next month for law school (but mostly because we really like them) we've been doing some fun things together. We went out for sushi and frozen yogurt, grilled out by the pool at our complex, and I've been babysitting Eva one day each week. It's awesome because when I go down to watch Eva I have great talks with Morgan in the morning, great talks with Eliza in the afternoon, and Eva and I have fun all day. And I take a million pictures of her because she's like the cutest bug I ever seen and I'm totally not biased. See for yourself:

FRIENDS. I am so happy to be back living near so many dear friends. In the month that we've been here I've been able to catch up with mission companions, roommates, friends from classes, etc. and I still have SO many more people to see. It's the wonderful blessing of seeing so much family that is keeping us from seeing more friends. Good problem to have, really. Oh, and one of those friends is Brooke. We took a picture together:

Brooke and I are bound in friendship by our mutual obsession with dessert.

MOUNTAINS & WEATHER. We have been gaping at the mountains ever since we got here...as though James didn't grow up in SLC and we both didn't go to BYU. This past weekend we went on a hike up Bell's Canyon to get an up close and personal taste of the mountains. It was a beautiful hike and James is a cute husband. See:

Hmm. That's not a cute husband.

Beautiful view. Kudos to my camera phone...which isn't even an iPhone, yo

Thur he is.

Hur I is.

So cool looking down from so high.

Cute.

Cute.

Waterfall.

Soaked by waterfall. And cute.

James doesn't like selfies, but he's oddly SO good at taking them.

THIS: Fortunately for our souls but unfortunately for our figures we live right in the heart of the bustling metropolis of Draper...haha. We are surrounded by literally EVERY restaurant and EVERY store we'll ever need. Several of those restaurants happen to be ice cream places, like Leatherby's Family Creamery. Since our family is made of only two dainty eaters, we tackled the task of finishing this dessert made up of peanut butter and cookie dough ice cream, cookies and cream ice cream, oreos, a giant chocolate chip cookie, hot fudge, whipped cream, and maraschino cherries. We actually didn't eat the cherries because we're watching our caloric intake. But we did go home and eat popcorn to balance out sweet and salty.

Yeah, didn't find this in Texas.

Come visit us and we'll make the sacrifice of going back. Just a warning (in case you haven't gathered by the description or the picture), James is sure this place will shut down your pancreas. 

As an update on some of the "weightier matters":

• James is rocking his new job at Tower Arch Capital. It's a start-up private equity firm and he was the first associate hired on. Woot woot! He's also studying diligently for the GMAT which he hopes to take next month.

• I was blessed to get a job at Primary Children's Hospital which I will be starting in a few weeks. I'll work as a scheduler in the medical imaging department, which is awesome because it means I'll learn about all the imaging procedures to explain them to patients (in English and Spanish).

• I have an interview with SLCC's DMS (Diagnostic Medical Sonography..aka ultrasound) program in a few weeks as well. 

• I was called as our ward's choir accompanist and James and I already spoke in church. Boom bam! We are really liking our ward and the location of the chapel which is just across the street.

And to top off the seemingly perfect state of our life right now, we went on a run tonight and found out we have neighbors who own a ZEBRA! How cool is that?!?

Houston: A vignette of sorts

The first full day James and I were in Houston together as newlyweds we had to drop off our rental car at a Hertz location about 3-4 miles away from our apartment. I couldn't drive the rental car back because I was only 24 and for strange reasons and laws I can't understand you must be 25 to drive a rental car or pay like $50/day extra...anyway...and the car James had in Houston was a stick shift which I didn't know how to drive. So we decided to both ride over in the rental car, drop it off, and run home. It was pouring rain and we got absolutely drenched as we ran up Main Street past Target and Kroger and eventually back to Almeda where our apartment was....all of which would become familiar to me in the coming months.When we got back to our complex we warmed up with the free hot chocolate in the leasing office and sat down to watch some HGTV.

We spent our first week in Houston unpacking boxes, researching, purchasing, and setting up a flat screen (first piece of furniture we bought together...oh yeah) and building and IKEA TV stand. The next week James flew to Michigan for a work project that would last all summer long, only returning on weekends and I started my internship which involved driving myself there in James' nice manual Mazda that I barely knew how to drive. That made both of us nervous. And thus started our newly-wedded days of bliss in Houston.

But they really were blissful days, because we crammed in so much stinking fun in our year there. Allow me to reminisce a moment on our first year of marriage and most likely our only year in Houston. Also allow me to paint to a picture of it all so I don't have to stick one in for every memory I mention. And most of these pictures are in previous blog posts anyway, if you so care.

We crammed in several sporting events, including a Dynamo soccer game, a Rockets basketball game, an Astros baseball game, and an unforgettable University of Houston versus BYU football game.

We agreed to at least one adventure per month and we so dutifully held to that, spending the 4th of July in Corpus Christi, Thanksgiving in San Antonio, a weekend with Brian Regan, family, and friends in Dallas, and an anniversary celebration in Austin.

And that only includes Texas.

I realized I traveled every. single. month. of our first year of marriage. James obviously traveled much more and to some cooler places, but I'm not the consultant here, so I was surprised at how often I found myself packing a suitcase. 

May: Orlando, FL for the honeymoon and the Colorado Springs, CO for the reception
June: SLC, UT for Laura and Mason's wedding
July: Corpus Christi, TX as I mentioned for 4th of July
August: Colorado Springs, CO for....fun of course!
September: UT also for fun...continuation of my trip to CO
October: Scottsdale, AZ for a sweet work retreat with James
November: Cincinnati, OH to see Jon, Tricia, and Henry!
December: SLC, UT and ID for a LONG Christmas vaca
January: SLC, UT...continuation of Christmas break and then Dallas, TX for Brian Regan, Billy, Christie, Cole, Jimmy, Charina, and Tyler!
February: UT and ID for both our grandma's funerals (sad :( )
March: NYC, NY because I just HAD to go and James was on a project there
April: SLC, UT for conference and house hunting and James' bday and because we apparently can't stay away from Utah
May: Austin, TX for anniversary and oh yeah...we MOVED to Utah to stay!

I familiarized myself with several schools as I took proctored exams at University of Houston, University St. Thomas, and a physics class at Houston Community College. I went to physical therapy at Texas Children's Hospital, did my internship at Halliburton's Wellzone Fitness Center, and taught piano lessons at Blackburn Music School. I also benefited from free Zumba and photography classes put on by awesome members in the ward.

We also kept busy in the ward having the sisters over every month (sorry to all the elders who passed through our ward who obviously aren't reading this...but I am a bit biased to sisters) for meals and going out to teach with them, James taught Sunday school, I roughed it up with the sweet cubby scouts (although not really, since we carved bars of soap instead of camping), I "coached" our ward RS vball team (even though basically everyone else was better than me), fell in love with the ward's book club, and tutored a teenage girl from Liberia and an adorable little 6-yr old. We had a ward chili cook-off in which I won 1st place for the apple crisp I made (my mission comp's recipe) and dressed up like giant grapes for the trunk or treat. Such an awesome ward!

We made time for the Houston Zoo, several nights (symphony, movies, plays) at the Miller Outdoor Theater (where in July even the summer evenings are suffocating because of the humidity), the Museum of Natural Science, the Space Center, the Houston Rodeo, and the beach at Surfside (sorry Galveston, everyone said your waters were the ickiest). We also squeezed in an Imagine Dragons concert in the Woodlands and a Joshua Radin/Matt Nathanson concert downtown at House of Blues. We found some tennis courts we loved, had picnics at several parks, went to many a full-price movie (because we get too excited to wait) and thoroughly enjoyed the beautiful Houston temple....although not always the traffic we had to fight to get there.

And let's not forget the food. I don't EVER forget the food. We LOVED the tacos and guacamole at Torchy's Tacos (take notes in case you ever go), the tres leches red velvet cake swimming in what looks like Pepto Bismol at Guadalajaras, Sushi Wabi, Gatlin's BBQ, need I go on? Oh yes, so there is a restaurant in Houston (and maybe all of Texas) called Luby's and James and I both independently decided that the name is just gross. Haha. So we didn't want to eat there. But the more time went by and the more Luby's we saw EVERYWHERE we agreed that we just had to try it once before we moved...just to say we went. So the night before we moved to Utah we went over to the Luby's right next to our apartment, stood in line, looked at what the food was and both agreed we'd rather have a greasy burger at Fuddrucker's next store. So we never tried Luby's, and we have no qualms about it.

It would be amiss of me not to paint an accurate portrayal of Houston for you though. Actually, it would just be positive of me, but how can I leave out the HUMIDITY, SIRENS, and TRAFFIC which will forever come to the forefront of my mind when I remember my year there? So to be honest, the humidity was worst in July, and most of the time I was in an air conditioned car, apartment, or building. It's wasn't as bad as people made it out to be...except probably in July. The sirens...well, that's our fault for living by the med center. I swear I heard ten each day, which seriously annoyed me and then I realized sirens mean something bad is happening to someone else so that is sad. But still annoying, I'm sorry. And the traffic....I told James that Houston gave me daily road rage...because it did. He saw why from time to time but he was not only traveling most of the time but he is everlastingly more calm and patient than I am. And then my dear friend Charina posted the following to my facebook wall which totally validated my road rage.

https://autos.yahoo.com/news/5-cities-with-the-worst-road-rage--and-5-of-the-most-generous-214302918.html


See? So it's not just me.

We had lovely visits from Sarah and Jared Christian (mission comp and her husband), my parents and Steph, Charina, Jimmy and Tyler a couple of times, and possibly others...I apologize if I have forgotten you. All of them were privileged enough to sleep on an air mattress in the living room. Woot woot. We had good times.

For those of you who didn't live in Houston with us or weren't fortunate enough to ever come visit I will post some super low quality pictures I snapped of our apartment right before we packed everything up. Please admire the kitchen in particular. I'm currently having withdrawals and James' is wishing he hadn't spoiled me with so much counter and cupboard space from the get-go.

Behold the beauty

Behold my minimal decorating

Loved the arch

Rethinking these colors, but it was a nice first try. And an inexpensive one too.

The bathroom that basically shook like an earthquake from day one...from the air conditioning below us

Even less decorating. Also, I finished my college degree in that chair. 

When we left Houston it was that time of year where the humidity was rolling in and puttin' it on THICK so we felt so sneaky and clever about how well-timed the move was. And then we stopped in Colorado Springs on our way to Utah to see my family and we were met with a blizzard...and we wanted to go back to Houston. But after too hot and too cold, we arrived to a sunny and comfortable Draper that is just right.

So, we are now living in Draper as of one week ago. We're still waiting for our stuff to arrive so we're "roughing it" with an air mattress, card table (thank you in-laws), and frozen burritos. But hey, we're close to family, close to James' new job, close to every store and restaurant we will ever need, and every time we look out our window or go outside we are met with those breathtakingly beautiful mountains that we missed so much while in Houston, so we are HAPPY.

Thanks, Houston, for treating us to a memorable first year of marriage! Now onto new adventures.....